Not All Healers Heal
Choosing an energy healer is a personal decision, and it’s worth taking your time with.
Beyond certifications or specific modalities, there are a few qualities that tell you whether you’re working with someone who will hold your energy with care and respect.
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Embodiment
Their actions match their words.
They live what they teach.
They lead by example.
If reciprocity is a value they talk about, it’s something they actually do.
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Integrity
They don’t promise outcomes.
They don’t diagnose “blocks.”
A healer practicing from integrity will sit with you as you work to heal yourself — not position themselves as the one who does the healing to you.
Healing shouldn’t become a permanent landing zone.
If you find yourself constantly buying more sessions and making no progress, it may be time to reevaluate.
They should respect your boundaries and your autonomy.
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Grounded
They stay rooted in reality.
They don’t use fear, urgency, or “high vibration vs low vibration” language.
Their presence feels steady.
Spiritual gaslighting is real.
If you’re being met with phrases like:
• “You signed up for this.”
• “This is what your soul chose.”
• “You’re not manifesting properly.”
…it’s a red flag.
Your healing shouldn’t come at the expense of lining someone’s wallet.
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Humility
Beware the self-proclaimed guru.
Anyone confident in themselves acknowledges what they don’t know.
They don’t position themselves as an authority over your life or your beliefs.
They collaborate with you.
They won’t tell you what to think or how to be.
A reputable healer will explore what resonates with you.
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Transparency
They’re clear about what they do, how they work, and what you can expect.
Anyone working in a healing field should be able to clearly explain their process.
If the language stays vague, you are well within your rights to ask for clarity.
A reputable healer will always be willing to share where they trained and with whom.
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Respect for Lineage and Training
They understand that energy work is a responsibility — not an aesthetic, a personality, or a trend.
They train within a lineage rather than appropriating a culture for its aesthetic.
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What I learned
I was at a point where I was trying to break cycles I kept repeating and make real changes in my life.
I tried everything — Reiki, somatic work, tarot readers, astrologers, psychics.
I did the work on my own.
I did every “homework” assignment I was given.
Nothing improved.
In fact, things kept falling apart more.
Every month I walked in saying:
“Why is this happening? I try to do good things in the world.”
I was constantly being diagnosed with “blocks.”
Told I was operating from a low frequency.
Told I wasn’t manifesting properly.
Told there were endless things I needed to fix.
I realized I was in the wrong place.
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I had also been studying shamanism with two different teachers. I still do.
They never spoke from a place of authority.
They never told me I was doing everything wrong.
They talked to me as an equal.
They embodied walking with me.
They listened deeply.
They didn’t judge.
They didn’t try to fix me.
They created space.
I have never heard the phrase “low frequency” come out of their mouths.
I have never felt inadequate next to them.
They have only ever supported and encouraged me.
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What You Deserve
Everyone deserves support that feels ethical, safe, and genuine.
You’ll know the right healer when your nervous system feels safe with them.
You leave sessions feeling more regulated — not more confused, pressured, or dependent.
No healer is perfect, but the right one will make you feel seen, supported, empowered…not managed or “fixed.”